The Blogger Cooler

I just thought they might disturb my wife...

2007-08-19T19:29:00.005-05:00

It's another 'A' month, time for a new post!

9/22/07 -- ....and one more:

10/13/07 -- And to round it out:

1/4/08 -- Can't. stop. posting. clowns.

[edit] 10/6/09 - Yet another addition.

[edit] 11/23/09

Dr. Rockso!

[edit] 12/27/09

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...

[edit] 04/16/11

GO TO BED

I hate Sanjina

2007-04-10T11:05:00.000-05:00

I know "hate" is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like him.

Seriously, when is this guy gonna get voted off????

And seriously, WHO'S VOTING FOR THIS GUY?

It's been done

2007-03-21T22:59:00.000-05:00

The Blogger Cooler is now Blogger Compliant.

I had a something to post, but got distracted by the process.

Why does this feel somehow like robbing a grave?

Happy New Year, Bitches!

2007-01-05T19:48:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so I'm five days late. Sue me! I can defend myself in court for free.

Anyways, what's your new year's resolution? Mine is to win $10 million dollars from Publisher's Clearinghouse. I feel like I can really make good on this. Don't ask why, it's just a feeling.

So, what's your resolution for this year?

Koodies!

2006-11-29T10:09:00.000-05:00

Since the boys went and got all "sensitive" on me regarding KKKramer (you know how boys can get), I decided to cut everyone some slack and put up a post about three people we can all make fun of.

Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan are now BFF's. How many STD's do you think they have between them?

Discuss.

*Images taken from DListed

KKKramer Hates Black People

2006-11-20T16:55:00.000-05:00

Where's Willy Jenkins when you need him?

Michael Richards (aka KKKramer of Seinfeld) went on a racist tirade when two black men, allegedly, heckled him during his show. Evidently, the only comeback KKKramer could think of was, "You're a n*gg*r!!"

That's class.

Here's the video.

PS: Let me just say this right now...

I believe in freedom of speech. That being said, unless you want to incur the Wrath of Reese, I better not here anyone defend this man especially with such untruths as "most black people use that word" and "but white people are so oppressed by black people- this is such a double standard!"

The Wrath of Reese is mighty and will leave you crying home to your mother as you re-evaluate why you should still be alive. It would be best not to test me on this one.

-----------------
UPDATE 11/24/06 11:35p by KOM

Same video as above, but I want to highlight this version because the subtitles are legible and the video is longer.

LINK

------------------
UPDATE 11/27/06 1:22p by Reese the Law Girl

I changed the title of this post from "Michael Richards Hates Black People" to "KKKramer Hates Black People" because I like calling Michael Richards "KKKramer." It's funny.

THIS JUST IN!

2006-11-15T08:23:00.000-05:00

ATTENTION: According to an in depth investigation by that well of friggin knowledge and virtue Entertainment Tonight, I have learned that fat & ugly people are frowned upon in our society while thin, good looking people get special treatment!
I don't know about YOU, but I'm shocked.

Fucking SHOCKED!

I.....I don't even know what to say. Why didn't they teach me this shit in school?!
All these years and I never knew.
Why didn't somebody tell me?
I don't remember a Sesame Street episode where Bird got into Mr. Hoopers store while Snuffy was forced to wait outside in the rain!

SHOCKED.

What's next Entertainment Tonight?! Are you gonna tell me some unbelievable shit like men get paid more than women for the same job?!!

I'm....I'm just....inconsolable.

Well, unless Jessica Alba wants to give me a hug.
Mmmmmmmmmm.

No; I'm not back.

She finally woke up!!!

2006-11-07T17:16:00.000-05:00

Britneys finally divorcing that foo!!!

Reactions?!

I have one...hip-hip-horray!!! That man was a money sucking, jerk ass!

Your Moment of Zin

2006-11-07T11:11:00.001-05:00

Check out the reaction of Faith Hill.

Baseball!!!

2006-10-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

Yo!

So...who do you all think is going to win the World Series?

Who, and why?

We didn't start the fire

2006-09-14T15:13:00.000-05:00

Britney Spears, #2,
Flava and a staircase poo,
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, what happened to J-lo?

Baby Suri is a human,
Rosie on the View is loomin'
Stars' homes near a blaze, is Angelina preggo?

Madonna is still a whore, I can't take it anymore!

I have entirely too much time on my hands today.

Different Strokes

2006-09-02T17:05:00.000-05:00

I'm obsessed with little black children being raised by skinny white women.

Here's the latest picture of oh, so cute Zahara. I believe that morph that US Magazine did of her is going to turn out to be 100% accurate.

I wonder if I would turn beautiful if I was adopted by Angie?

I am available for adoption, Angie. You know, I'm just throwing that out there...

Behold - Youthatopia!

2006-08-17T10:54:00.000-05:00

It's been a long descent into madness for David Copperfield.

But lord knows, any man might go bat-shit crazy after losing Claudia Schiffer.

Let's hope longtime friend Tom Cruise can bring ol' Dave back to this planet.

Mighty Morphin' Power Players

2006-07-31T07:29:00.000-05:00

US magazine asked a forensic imaging specialist to figure out what celebrities' kids would look like in 20 years.

The results are pretty interesting.

Of course, Zahara Jolie-Pitt is gorgeous.

I mean, she's not even biologically related to the Brad or Angelina, yet she still gets the gorgeous gene.

So unfair.

Click Me to See Beautiful People

A question of taste

2006-07-12T05:20:00.000-05:00

Since Dez had the foresight to ask a question on this blog, I must follow suit.

At what point did having your roots show become acceptable? Why are people willing to stand still for photos, appear on MTV, or strip for Massive Melons, while their hair is two or three shades away from uniformity?

I remember a time when women (okay, let's be honest... I say 'people', but it's women...) used to complain about their roots. Now, it's only natural to have mostly blonde and somewhat brunette "anchors".

So: What. The. Fuck??

Is this just another case of "It's too loud, so you're too old?", or worse yet, "I dig my badly dyed hair almost as much as my gold and platinum tooth caps?"

Love,

KOM (Get off my lawn you whippersnappers, goddammit!)

Man Question

2006-06-26T17:53:00.000-05:00

Hey guys.

Got a question for ya.

Do men typically track when a woman is ovulating when they are first dating and definately NOT trying to conceive?

Holla back.

Hey, now we're famous, too!

2006-06-08T04:28:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it is... Reese must be rubbing off on me. I never used to care about this kind of thing, but now I find myself watching The Soup every week.

Anyhow, the grand (and blogospherically late (did I just coin a term?)) unveiling:

Suck that, People Magazine.

If anyone asks, KOM lives in Rhode Island. Yeah, that's the ticket. And his name is... John Smith. Yes! And, umm... he really, really likes People. Man, like he reads it on the can, on the bus, during sex... oh, yeah. Good stuff.

Colored blogs

2006-05-21T17:40:00.000-05:00

I've notice sumthin.
White or brightly colored blogs seem more popular than black or dark blogs.
I think that dark backgrounds make it easier to read stuff, but when I see a blog that's crap, but has a white background getting 30 + comments as opposed to say Reesey-poos blog only getting 10 on a good day, I gotta wonder what's up.

Although....KOM's blog is brightly lit and good, but doesn't get many comments.

Hm....

Is it all a psychomologicalish thing having to do with color?
If I make my blog pink, will I get more, relaxed readers?
What if i get it to smell like popcorn?
Cotton candy?

All's I'm sayin is that a year ago we wuz BLOG GODS gettin hits and comments left n' right, but now......

We're still sexy, so what's tha dealy yo?

Who's Americas Next Top Model???

2006-04-28T18:33:00.000-05:00

Staying true to my word, here it is....

Who will it be?? And will Jomama be the only person that answers this post too?

Who's Americas Next Idol?

2006-04-27T16:43:00.000-05:00

Since I got called out for not contributing to this blog....this is me contributing.

Does anyone watch Idol?

I'm addicted. Embarrassing, but true. I love Katherine and Chris and loved Kelly too, just cause she was a loveable country girl!

Am I fired now, just for this post??

P.S. Stay tuned for tomorrows post...Who will be...Americas Next Top Model!!

A spicy new world

2006-04-27T01:33:00.000-05:00

Hee hee, I'm writing on Blogger for the first time in months!

It's like going home and finding out that the roll of wintergreen Lifesavers that you hid in the bookshelf is still there!

I should mention that I really like wintergreen. If it's done well. Some wintergreen has no bite. There's a brand of wintergreen candy-canes that my mom was so excited to buy when I was a kid, because she knew that I loved the flavor. Christmas finally rolled around, I got to take one of the candy-canes off of the tree, and... meh. It sorta tasted like the same mint, but it was bland and dull.

Like a "spicy" chicken sandwich from any of the fast-food joints. There's even a commercial where a guy's breathing fire and setting off the sprinklers in his cube farm from the heat of his sandwich.

Have you ever tasted one of these? I guess middle America thinks that pepper (as in plain, black ground pepper) is hot. Caliente, even!

Jeebus Criminy, I live in a country where half the population thinks that jalapeño is the hottest flavor out there! In fact, I have a theory: people who breathe fire from Wendy's chicken sandwiches probably vote republican. Yeah, I know that a lot of peppers should be around Texas, but I doubt the average Montanan or Utahian is expirementing with habeneros.

My wife's paternal side comes from the Midwest. Culinary daring-do out there is placing a slice of cheese on apple pie. Something tells me that there aren't a lot of Thai restaurants in BFE, Arkansas.

One of my friends is Vietnamese. When we were in high school, we used to place these little, unpronounceable, bright-red chili's into our Monday Night Football nachos. They would make your eyes water, your brow sweat, your balls drop, your throat clench and later, much later, your ass burn like Satan himself was giving you a rimjob.

What's my point?

Despite the herculean effort of Reese, this blog has seen better days. I'm wondering if we shouldn't infuse it with new blood? OF the founding members, only 3 have posted, well, irregularly at best. There are a couple of to be nameless contributors whose posts I can count on one hand.

But that's cool - maintaining one blog is hard work, especially considering that we've all been around for over a year. We all win the Dork award for Longevi-dorkiness. I'm not trying to single anyone out (especially my own post-negligent ass).

I'm calling for a new direction, perhaps. A new blog with new contributors. Something to work on, which will receive more than 3 hits a day (those are all mine, by the way).

Speaking of which, who removed my Blogpatrol counter? Hmm? I'm going to turn my back, and I expect it to be reinstated by the time I turn around.

Or I'll talk to Satan about rimjobs for all'y'all.

Your Latest TomKat Alert...

2006-04-18T09:10:00.000-05:00

The Blogger Coooler...keeping you up to date on Tom Cruise's madness. The latest?

Tom Cruise plans on eating the placenta that comes out of Katie.

No, it's not a rumor and it comes straight from Tom's mouth, so to speak.

"I'm going to eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there."

Here's an article about it.

Again, I repeat...Katie please...

RUN, BITCH, RUN!!!!

TomKat Alert!!!!

2006-04-04T10:09:00.001-05:00

Tom Cruise...

"First the baby, then the film. Then, in the summer, we want to get married. I won’t let this woman get away.”

You hear that, Katie? It's the sound of the maximum security lock being placed on your prison door. I know you're about to drop a lizard baby on us a la "V," but now is the time to run.

Run, bitch, run!!!

Run for your life!!!!!

Elephants have been Pregnant Longer!

2006-03-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

How long is this thing going to gestate?

I mean, really! Hasn't Katie Holmes been pregnant for like a year now?

I think she's going to spawn some sort of new human that Tom is going to use to destroy the world unless we all convert to Scientology or something.

For real though...I'm scared...

Nick Lachey: Justified or Punk?

2006-03-01T08:37:00.000-05:00

I just read that Jamie Foxx, according to E.T., said that Nick Lachey is not a "real man" for asking for half of Jessica Simpson's money.

First of all, if Jamie really did say that, I think that's bogus. What business is it of his to comment on Nick and Jessica's divorce?

That being said, I wonder what you guys think of Nick asking for spousal support. Do you think he deserves it or should even be asking for it? I actually think that he should get half of everything. Nick was more famous than Jessica before that whole "Newlyweds" show. He put her in his 98 Degrees videos and all this other junk. And then, when the pair did the reality show together (and Jessica displayed all of her blonde moments), both catapulted to stardom with Jessica going even further. I honestly feel that without Nick, we would all be like, "Jessica who?"

So, I say, Nick go get yo' dough!

What do you guys think?

VH1, Show me the money!

2006-02-05T02:29:00.000-05:00

Watching a bit of this evening's CBS spectacular 40 best Super Bowl Commercials, I formulated the perfect new show for VH1.

The Top 100 Most Outrageous Talking Head Moments of Shows That Have Appeared On VH1 'Best Of' Segments.

Well, the title could use some work. How about: I Love the Banter. Followed by I Love the Banter Strikes Back.

I was thinking that Hal Sparks could host, but that would be like having Robert Deniro presenting the Lifetime Achievement award.

So it would have to be Max Headroom.

"I c-c-can't b-believe what Michael I-I-Ian Black just s-s-said. Hah Ha!"

A Fight to the Death

2006-01-23T12:32:00.001-05:00

In a fight to the death who would win...

Brangelina's Golden Child vs. TomKat's Devil Spawn.

Discuss.

(What? That's all I got today. ;p~~)

Predictions for the '06

2006-01-06T20:32:00.001-05:00

So, just to see what people will come up with, choose a celebrity couple and tell us how it will all go down for them in the '06. Ready?

A) Brad and Angie (I'm such a Team Jolie fan)

B) Brittany and Kevin

C) Tom and Kat

D) Demi and Ashton

You can make up anything you want. It can be a true prediction or something completely insane.

Insane is always fun, of course.

So, get crackin!

Would you rather....

2005-12-29T08:10:00.000-05:00

Have Donald Trumps hair or be Paris Hiltons gynecologist?

( I realized I hadn't posted here in a LONG time, and didn't want anyone acussing me of not existing.)

Happy Baby Day!!!

2005-12-14T14:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this is all late, but The Blogger Cooler's very own Kom is sporting a brand new baby boy.

With red hair, possibly...someday...maybe...

Go say Congrats to Kom and Robyn.

Whooo-Hoooo for spawning new people!!!

:)

How important is Sex when picking a mate?

2005-12-02T15:43:00.000-05:00

Ok I need some help. Just a brief survey of the blogger world to ask people how important is sex. Say you have an ex. And that ex provided you with spectatcular sex. Is that enough to get back with that ex. And say you have a present who provides you with good but not spectatcular sex. SO it kinda stacks up like this

Ex= Spectatcular sex, Annoying habits, Nothing in common and older guy.
Present= Medium sex, Same interests, same age, same families types and can chat for hours on the phone.

Solve my dilemma
Alright pick one.

How long before MOVING on?

2005-12-01T18:18:00.000-05:00

So as a recently broken up chick (and when I say recently, I mean, like an hour ago)...I'd like to know this...

How long does one wait to move on, talk to new people, so on and so fourth without looking like a dirty pirate whore?

Does gender matter? Does a man get to move on faster, just because he's a man?

So who wins? I posted first! Do I win, for taking the time out from my heartbreak to post??

I feel I should get the purse. I'm hoping for this really cute brown Coach. Please email me for shipping address.

So....

2005-11-28T10:55:00.000-05:00

How you doin'? ;)

Actually, I want to know does anyone actually make the effort to lose the weight they gained over Thanksgiving or do you just continue your spiral of gluttony well into Christmas and New Year's and worry about "Future You's" unexplainable weight gain in 2006?

This year, I'm losing the Thanksgiving baggage early.

Place Your Bets

2005-11-15T11:40:00.000-05:00

Within the next 3 months, who will contribute a post to the Blogger Cooler first?

Dez or "Lisa"?

**PS: I love you girls, I'm just messin' with you. :D**

Adjective noun

2005-11-06T00:26:00.000-05:00

Indefinite article noun verb preposition indefinite article noun. Interjection!

What's Your Routine?

2005-11-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

First of all, I'd just like to point out how I am so much cooler than the other Blogger Cooler contributors as I'm the only one who actually contributes.

The rest of you guys suck, big time! Especially "Lisa" and Dez. They suck the most. ;p~~~

Now, I have a question for everyone. What's your daily routine when you get to work everyday? I realized today, that I have routine that I follow, not only out of habit, but out of pure pyschological addiction. If I don't follow the routine to a tee, then my whole day is thrown off.

First, I come into my office. Then, I leave my office and go to the restroom to wash my hands (the train is full of germs). Then, I go downstairs and get my breakfast (which MUST be an egg and cheese sandwith and a fruit & yogurt parfait). Then, I come back upstairs, shut my office door until it's almost closed (not fully closed, mind you), log into my computer, and read the Washington Post online edition.

If I don't do these things I become a very unhappy camper the rest of the day. I think it's so odd.

Anyways, what's your work routine that you absolutely can't deviate from? I'm curious to see what makes us all messed up. ;)

Can You Keep a Secret?

2005-10-25T10:48:00.000-05:00

Not to blow up Kom's post (that game was fun, man), but uhhh...

Dude! Janet Jackson has an 18 year-old daughter that she's kept secret for AT LEAST 18 years. ;)

Seriously, it's all out in the open now. The father is Janet's first husband, one of those Debarge boys. She had the baby (her name is Renee, btw) and then gave the baby to her sister, Rebe (the only sane Jackson, allegedly) to raise.

This is not a rumor. It's true, man, I swear!!

And, all I have to say is this...

What the hell is wrong with the Jacksons? Were they just born this way? I mean, Janet literally dodged the question about her having a kid for years. People used to ask her, and she'd say, it's just a rumor. That she never had a daughter. There are lot's of people who give up their kids for adoption, but do you have to have a kid, give the kid up, and then deny the kid's existence for almost two decades!

Weirdos.

And, I used to think Janet was the non-crazy one. Whatever.

Game time

2005-10-24T17:23:00.000-05:00

I don't have anything to talk about, because I've been playing this game all freaking day. It's mouse crack.

You all might want to kiss your loved one's one last time before following the link. I'm not sure that we'll be coming back.

I know, I know, this isn't exactly water cooler conversation. But I'm trying to keep things moving, dig?

That's Really Smurfed Up!

2005-10-13T07:14:00.000-05:00

Dude, someone bombed the Smurfs.

Seriously.

Unicef-Belgium has a new ad campaign touting the effects of war on children using the Smurfs as a sacrifice. The ad shows the Smurfs all happy go lucky, as they usually are, and then...

KA-BLAMO!!

Missles start falling everywhere and all the Smurfs die.

Even Smurfette.

At the end, Baby Smurf is sitting in the middle of the town crying.

You know what I think about this?

IT'S ABOUT BLODDY TIME!!!

I absolutely hated the Smurfs as a kid. I'm surprised someone didn't do this a lot sooner.

Thank goodness for small miracles.

I'm trying to find a link for the video, but I haven't found a decent one yet. I'm sure it's got to be somewhere.

I swear, this is the coolest thing ever.

The Apocalypse Really is Here (I Will Not be Scooped!!)

2005-10-06T05:40:00.000-05:00

I knew getting off the junk would pay off! I knew it.

Ahem...

Just, give me a moment to get this out...

TOM CRUISE & KATIE HOLMES ARE WITH CHILD!!!!!

Yes, it's true. Tom knocked up Katie.

It's true!! It's true!! The couple has even confirmed it!!!

So, what crazy things can we expect from our favorite crazy celebrities? Personally, I'm prepared for Tom to wax poetic about how immunization shots are from the devil.

Or psychiatrists.

What crazy thing do you think Tom will do or say now that he's gonna be a new Daddy?

Holy crap cakes!

2005-10-01T00:54:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton calls off marriage!

I can honestly say, without hesitation, swearing before the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself, I am shocked to the core.

Who could have seen this but Miss Cleo, I ask?! Oh, the seventh seal has been broken and I hear the hoof-beats of 4 dark riders. Blood moon, boiling seas and all that.

I would be terrified and huddling in our basement (if we had such things here on the west coast), but I'm so excited to have scooped Reese that I welcome the Armegeddon.

I hope rehab's going well, by the way.

Worried

2005-09-28T12:42:00.000-05:00

I'm worried about Reese.

It's been a couple of days and she has yet to comment on Ashton and Demi getting married.

Reese LOVES this kinda stuff!

Where are you Reese when we really need you?

Eyes up here, buddy

2005-09-20T18:38:00.000-05:00

The culmination of a recent post by Kingfisher and an ad for a cell phone company starring Pamela Anderson have me perplexed about an issue.

If a woman spends several thousand dollars on breast augmentation, does she reserve the right to be offended at men ogling her breasts?

Is it any different from me putting oranges down my pants and being indignant about people staring?

Is it like a movie star pleading for annonymity? "But really, Larry, I don't like being recognized everywhere. So come see my crappy movie."

Or have we come so far down the path that anyone can wear chain mail and a ballet slippers and skip down main street while eating kittens and shoving a banana up their ass, and claim both freedom of expression and expectation of privacy?

-- Update 4:15p, 9/21/05

Speaking of breasts:

Tyra Banks disproves rumors of breast implants on her talk show. To which I have only two things to say: There were rumors of breast implants?? Tyra Banks has a talkshow??!

Thank god for the news. This is information that I need now.

It's a Boy!!!

2005-09-15T14:13:00.000-05:00

Did you hear?

DID YOU HEAR?!?!

Brittany had a baby!!!

God, gave her permission to destory ANOTHER life (as she destroyed ours for several years by forcing us to listen to her music).

In related news, I heard the best joke about Brittany. On the Today Show, Matt Lauer was interviewing some of the guys from Best Week Ever. Here's the highlight...

Matt Lauer: "So, if you could give Brittany and Kevin's new baby a gift, what would you give?"

Guy from Best Week Ever: "A role model."

ROTFL!! You have to admit, that was funny. ;)

Thanx to Squishi

2005-09-12T11:35:00.000-05:00

Ooooo, I finally found a question to post on here. You all can thank Squishi for it.

Who is more deserving of their fame: The Olsen Twins or Paris Hilton?

I would like to play Devil's Advocate and say Paris Hilton. Okay, first of all it takes a lot of work to be in a sex tape. Secondly, she actually found a straight man with the same name as her's to marry. Third, there's The Simple Life and that was interesting for a season. And, she wrote a book. Allegedly.

Also, she's got more money than the Olsen Twins.

Okay, there's my vote. What's yours?

Pitiful

2005-09-08T12:42:00.000-05:00

The world is disappointing me right now. Isn't there anything interesting to talk about (not counting Katrina, of course). I mean, look at what the lack of conversation has done to J and Kom. It's forced them to go crazy and post repetitive sentences (which are also crazy). I, for one, blame the celebrities. They should be doing something nuts like jumping on chairs and encouraging the bipolar people to throw away their lithium. Why aren't they doing something crazy that we can laugh at, dammit!

Here's what I got: Paris is marrying Paris. How long before their sex tape, showing that they're actually the same person, makes it on the internet?

2005-09-08T07:21:00.000-05:00

All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. I could go for a fat boy right now, you now, those thick ice cream sandwichs. Mmmm. All food and no exercise make Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy. All food and no exercise makes Jerk a fat boy.

a dull boy All

2005-09-02T13:41:00.000-05:00

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

So, How About Those Gas Prices?

2005-08-22T10:58:00.000-05:00

Dude, where are all the other owners of this blog? They dissapeared on me. ;p~~

So, anyways, I'm just curious as to who can boast the cheapest gas prices. As of yesterday, we were at $2.49 for Regular. What about you guys?

For Kaci

2005-08-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

Okay, here's another hypothetical. The boys can particiapte in this one too...

Alright, so you've been dating this person for about 4 months now. The relationship is really good. In fact, the best one you've ever had. You do love your new significant other as they are a great person, but you're not necessarily in love with your new boyfriend/girlfriend. In other words, you've had much greater loves in your life.

So, you're chilling at home with your boyfriend/girlfriend when there is a knock at your door...

It's Halle Berry/Brad Pitt/Insert Other Famous Person you Really Think is Hot

Halle/Brad/Other Hot Person inform you that they are in town for one night. That for this one night they want to "be with you" ("be with you" being whatever you want it to be). That if you pass up this opportunity now, you'll never see them again.

So, what do you do?

Do you just leave right away or do you explain to your boyfriend/girlfriend why you're dumping them?

Hahahahaha! Just kidding.

But, seriously what would you do?

Discuss.

For the Ladies...

2005-08-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of honoring cool girls, that KOM started last week, I have a hypothetical for the ladies (I actually posted this hypo somewhere else before, but I think it's worth repeating). Answer honestly, chicas.

Okay, so you're on a deserted island. You're trapped there forever. There is no hope for rescue. If you were given the choice, who would you bring with you:

A) A doctor who spent time as a farmer and habitat for humanity construction worker. He's also an avid camper and knows his way around wooded areas and how to survive in the jungle. He's also not that attractive and he always smells seriously funky.

OR

B) George Clooney

For answer B, I will also accept any hot man that you currently have the hots for. But, please, for my own sanity, don't replace George Clooney with your boyfriend or your husband. This is a fantasy, people! Hence, choice B should be your fantasy man.

Okay, discuss.

Girls are cooler

2005-08-05T13:42:00.000-05:00

I notice that Blogger Cooler recently got hit by a Yahoo search for 'girls are cooler blogger'. Who am I to disagree?

But why end your sentence with "blogger"? Is it like STOP in a telegram? Like "-itlan" for cartoon Aztecs? Like "you know?" for Jennifer Lopez?

I'm out-itlan blogger. STOP. You know?

Inconsequential preference

2005-08-03T00:14:00.000-05:00

Linebacker or Hunchback?

2005-07-26T13:25:00.000-05:00

So, I'm preparing for the natural disaster known as the High School Reunion, and I'm thinking of wearing my back-up outfit instead of a new outfit. Only problem is, the backup outfit has shoulder pads in it.

So, ladies, should I take the shoulder pads out? I really hate shoulder pads. The thing is, sometimes I take them out and the outfit looks better. Other times, I take them out and I look like I'm hunched over.

So, keep them in or take them out?

I imagine this is the same dilemma Pam Anderson goes through everyday.

Bud-a-bum!

Hehehehe....

Just for Fun...

2005-07-25T08:44:00.000-05:00

Alright, I'm taking Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes predictions, much like I did a few years ago with Bennifer (the original Bennifer)...

So, how long of a marriage will Tom & Katie have? Will they even get married?

Tell your official prediction now, so that when it comes true, you'll feel all smart. ;)

Ala Reese

2005-07-21T12:21:00.000-05:00

OK fanboys and girls, I got one right outta the comic battleground that occupies Reese's head. Noggin that is.

Juggernaut vs. The Hulk!

Who wins?

'nuff said.

For the Fellas

2005-07-20T13:01:00.000-05:00

I'm just curious...

Original Daisy Duke or New Daisy Duke?

Which Is Worse?

2005-07-19T12:10:00.000-05:00

Pull my finger, or smell my finger?

Discuss.

What's Yer Poison?

2005-07-15T07:18:00.000-05:00

It's Friday, so I'll ask a Pre-Friday night question.

When (if?) you go out drinking, what's your fave, your drink of choice?

Me?
Beer, the darker the better, though Guinness is a little too much for me anymore.
If it's hard stuff, Bourbon/coke, Whiskey Sours and Harvey Wallbangers. It's tough to find a bar with Galliano though, so I RARELY get a Harvey Wallbanger.

Life's little pleasures

2005-07-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

I sincerely hope that it was even half as satisfying to you folks as it was to me to watch Scott McClellan swinging in the breeze.

Man, it looked like he was going to cry.

You could see his thoughts like cartoon bubbles - "What's happening? Cheney said that this would never happen! My president, why hast thou foresaken me?"

Yup, he seemed genuinely shocked that he would take any heat. Now they're saying he might get fired. He seems to have genuinely believed that Bush wouldn't chew him up and spit him up.

Just ballast.

Crap. Now I feel bad.

Best Ever!!

2005-07-11T11:01:00.000-05:00

Wow, I'm on a roll here. It's like, I'm the queen of small talk. ;)

Current discussion "Lisa" and I are having (BTW, people, "Lisa" has actually updated her blog- amazing, no?):

What is the best comic book movie adaptation ever made?

Keep in mind, if you say Spider-Man 2, I will hurl you into the Atlantic Ocean.

I can't decide between Superman II, Batman I, or X-Men 2.

What's your opinion?

What do you Want on Your Subway??

2005-07-06T18:06:00.000-05:00

Moving on from the uncomfortable silence brought on by Kom's joke (hehehehe, I'm just kidding man- I actually liked the joke)....

I was at Subway yesterday ordering a 6" roasted chicken breast on Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with Swiss cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, green peppers, and light Mayo, when I thought...

I wonder what everyone else gets?

So, what do you guys order at Subway? AND, what do you put on it. I want to know everything, including what bread you choose, how big your sandwich is, and if you're one of those oil and vinegar people.

Yea, so I'm nosy. So, what??

Just a joke.

2005-07-06T09:33:00.000-05:00

I keep hearing this one, but not many people that I know have heard it, so forgive me if it's made the circuit. Oh, and my sense of PC left me some time ago.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane?

A pilot, you rascist!

I don't know why... this just strikes my funnybone.

Say Goodbye

2005-07-01T09:24:00.000-05:00

Well, that's it. We're screwed.

Justice Sandra Day O'Conner has stepped down from the US Supreme Court.

Say Goodbye to the follwing, America:

Abortion
Affirmative Action
Civil Rights
Appropriate Use of the Death Penalty

I'm seriously going to leave this country now...

"Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt...You're Glib, Matt."

2005-06-27T10:05:00.000-05:00

What made Tom Cruise go craazzy?

Jumping on couches, marrying girls he met 2 months ago, and exclaiming that psychiatric drugs that alter the mind are bad, while herbs and vitamins that alter the mind are good.

What the hell?

My friend Toya De says it's a mid-life crisis. Best Week Ever on VH1 says he's always been crazy. But, I really want to know, what made Tom Cruise go craazzy?

Maybe he can't handle all the great, uh...benefits, that come with dating a 26 year old? ;)

I'm slightly worried about Tom. While his craziness has entertained me (a lot!), I can't continue to laugh at the man, when I know he needs help. Somebody needs to prescribe him some lithium... ;)

(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8343367/: This is the now infamous Today show interview; it doesn't get real good until 7 1/2 minutes into the interview; although, you can see shots of Katie Holmes in the background with a big goofy grin on her face ("I'm marrying a rich man- whoo-hoo!!")).

For Shame, Supreme Court!!

2005-06-23T18:41:00.000-05:00

The liberal justices of the US Supreme Court have just issued a ruiling which basically allows the rich to bribe your local legislature into taking your property.

So, the question is...

What country should I move to? Canada? Britain? I hear Australia is nice...

-------- Update 6/29/05

Sweet justice.

Shoooo Shoooo!

2005-06-21T18:07:00.000-05:00

How do you scare away crazy people?

No crazy here.

Me no likey.

No....no....thank you....we have enough crazy today....thanks though.

Try next door.

NO, I don't need any crazy!!

I JUST bought some.

Bye bye.

No more crazy.

You can go now, thank you.

Empty promises?

2005-06-17T22:20:00.000-05:00

J - gotta put you on the spot, here.

Whatever happened to Jerk: Attorney at Law?

Inquiring minds want to be nosy.

I Got one...I Got One!!!

2005-06-17T10:57:00.000-05:00

Tom "She calls me Daddy" Cruise just popped the question to Katie "I'm his little girl" Holmes.

Could you marry or even date some one 16yrs younger than you?

Maybe not now, but EVER?

Post This!

2005-06-16T10:26:00.000-05:00

I never know what to post on The Blogger Cooler.
I'm not into politics, BOTH parties suck.

I'm not really into most current events, Mikey Jackson's problems don't interest me A-TALL.
Some RICH person's in trouble quick let's devote all of our media energy to the story!
Who cares?!
Martha Stewart? She can kiss my Blog Ass!
Paris Hilton? NOT hot.
Tom Cruise dating a girl young enough to ACTUALLY be his daughter? Way to go Tommy!! I mean, oh dear......tsk tsk...for shame.

If it crosses my mind with any enthusiasm I post it on MY Blog.

I'm running out of "Creamy or Crunchy Peanut Butter?" questions.

How do you generate conversation without getting too deep, or being TOO shallow?
I can't find the happy medium; and if I could, I'd ask her what the winning lotto numbers were going to be not Blog stuff.
I'd also ask her why she's so DAMN happy!

TP

2005-06-15T11:51:00.000-05:00

Slow day in blog-land.

This has always bothered me. Why is two-ply so great? Why don't they just make a single-ply that is thicker? Then you would never have to worry about one of the plies separating and making a mess of the whole roll.

Michael Jackson Verdict...Thoughts?

2005-06-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

Sandwich

2005-06-12T11:34:00.000-05:00

I'm on a roll!
ALl 3 of my last posts here have wound up sucking!!

Let's try this one.

When you make a sandwich for yourself, do you cut it in half down the middle or from corner to corner diagonal style?

If you get a sandwich and it's cut the "Wrong" way, does it ruin your sandwich experience a little?

Me? Diagonal and yes if I order a sandwich or get one and it's just cut down the middle for what ever reason, I don't enjoy it as much.

Weird.

Can Opener?

2005-06-11T12:18:00.000-05:00

Jerk here!

Back with the difficult questions that most are AFRAID to ask!

Are you RIGHT-handed or LEFT-handed?

If a lefty, what bugs you most about living in a RIGHTY world?

You weird mutie freaks.

I don't mean that in a bad way.

Flava Flav!!!

2005-06-10T16:54:00.000-05:00

Bass!
How low can you go?
Death row.
What a brotha knows
Once again back's the incredible, rhyme animal.
The incredible D. Public Enemy #1.....

Wait wait wait

Sorry about that, I shouldn't have named this post after Flava.
He gets me into a weird "Phuc y'all" mood. Yeeeeeeaaaah Boy!

ANyhoo.
I'm back with my deep questions n' shid.

You betta rekonize foo!

I'm Jerk bitch.

Charlie Murphaaaaaay!!!

What's your favorite Kool-aid flavor?

I knew I shouldn't have watched the Dave Chapelle second season DVD before posting.

I'm rich bee-yaatch!

Anyone ever go to work hung over?

2005-06-10T12:37:00.000-05:00

How about a little bit drunk from the night before?

Who's the Biggest Butt-Kicker?

2005-06-09T16:53:00.000-05:00

You guys know I'll never post anything intellectual on this board right?

Here's a debate I had once with "Lisa" and Eliza. If you're not a comic book fan, you probably won't get it...

Who would win in a fight to the death: The Justice League or the X-Men?

Assuming the JL is Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, The Martian Manhunter, Flash, and Hawkgirl. The X-Men are Professor X, Storm, Jean Grey, Wolverine, Rogue, and Cyclops.

Discuss, debate, relax, relate, release, whatever... ;)

What Would You Do?

2005-06-09T09:27:00.000-05:00

I can't decide if I should keep/put "The Author" on my Blog links.

I don't think she apologized to my friend for jumping to conclusions.
Even if I think she (The Author) is an alright person, I should really be thinking of my friend right?

Hmmmmmmm

Ponder, ponder.

It's quiet... too quiet.

2005-06-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

The Lesser of Two Evils

2005-06-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

While the boys debate the greatest lines from old 80's movies, I thought I'd ask this very important question:

You have the opportunity to erase from history either Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. Which do you choose and why?

Remember, you can only erase one of them.

Levity on Friday

2005-06-03T11:16:00.000-05:00

Better anti-hero:

Ash from Evil Dead, or Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China? Why?

A Light Bulb Just Hit me in the Head

2005-06-01T21:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, so, I have another question:

Should you sacrifice potential friendships for the funny?

See, here's my problem. I have this great idea (nothing solid yet) to do this thing. Only, it's kinda based on craziness that I've witnessed on the internet. I think it would be really funny, although it's based on real events and I don't want to offend anyone.

Right now, I'm thinking I'm so not going to do it.

But, in my head, it's so freakin' funny, dude!

So, ummm, what to do?

I promise this will be my last "advice" post for the week. ;)

To Post a Pic or Not To Post a Pic

2005-05-31T16:13:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to decide if I should post my picture. I don't really care what people think of me, but, I'm afraid of stalkers. Seriously, they are like all over the internet apparently; and, I don't want to catch one.

Also, "Lisa" says if I post my picture, random people on the street will recognize me and start talking to me. And, really, who wants to talk to people?

So, uhhh, is it better to stay anon (aka Sydney Bristow as my friend Lez says) or to let everyone see the "real" you?

Let a sister know, would ya?

I NEED SUMTHIN MAN!!!

2005-05-31T01:48:00.000-05:00

You were to read that in Dennis Hopper's voice.

Try it again.

You are Jones'n for something!
You've got the Munchies like nobody's biz!!

You rush to the kitchen throw open the cabinets and there it is!!

Your snack of choice!

OK, now here's the question........What do you eat in this situation?

SWEET OR SALTY?

A simple poll

2005-05-28T19:04:00.000-05:00

Reading about the "Great Wall of No" on both Datamonkey's and Lisa's web logs, a thought occured to me.

Do you sleep on the right or left side of the bed. Or does it matter? The distinction of course is measured by looking on the bed from the foot.

I sleep on the right-side of the bed. Exclusively. Becuase it's closer to the door, and I imagine that I can raise the alarm before somthing terrible happens.

This was how my parents slept, my great-grand-parents... on back to the Flinstone's, where they slept in serparate beds. Crazy Cro-magnons.

Where do you sleep? Ever want to karate-chop your mate and take the whole damn bed over?

I'm keeping score for a scientific survey. Seriously. No reason to doubt me.

{eyebrow raised} Now, honey, what side of the bed do you sleep on?

The age-old question.

2005-05-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

Deckard: Human or replicant?

I'm Out Bitches!!

2005-05-25T15:04:00.000-05:00

I swear DJ and Dave Chappelle have rubbed off on me in bad ways.

I'm out until Tuesday. See if you guys can sustain this site without me.

WHOOO! Someone's got a big ego, huh?!?

I'm just messin' around. But, seriously though, don't take any book offers without me ;)

Peace and Chicken Grease!! :D

For the Ladies

2005-05-25T07:32:00.000-05:00

Ahem...

Pick one:

Legolas in Lord of the Rings or Achilles in Troy, and why?

Blogger Flirting

2005-05-24T12:34:00.000-05:00

Is it flirting, or is it just commenting? Where's the line?
How do we know when we've crossed it?
Everyone is aware that J is known as THE "Blogga Playa", but when should it be taken seriously?

Rules of Blogging

2005-05-24T10:17:00.000-05:00

I was just about to write a scathing comment about my job on this blog. Then Paranoid Reese said I might lose my job by doing so. What's the point of a blogger cooler if you can't Bitch. I think she is just being her usual paranoid self but she could be right. Much to my continued annoyance she frequently is. So what do you think. Are there some topics we just shouldn't talk about on here.? Bear in mind I work for the government.

My native tongue - the contest

2005-05-24T00:25:00.000-05:00

What is the most butchered (awkward, even), while still being readable, and preferably grammatically correct (and without too many run-on sentences), sentence, that while difficult to follow, makes some semblance of sense, are you (being not-me, and open to anyone that can type) able to write?

The above looks like 95% of my posts before editing. I wonder if I sound like that in real life? I know that my boss just stares at me and blinks a lot when I'm talking, and I know that I speak almost as parenthetically as I write.

First prize wins a paper-clip and a post-it note signed by yours truly - the fabulous Sean Connery.

The above statement is a lie, as Sean Connery will not be providing autographs, nor is he KOM or at all affiliated with KOM Industries, Inc. A paper-clip will be rewarded upon request to the winner who is able to provide a SASE c/o KOM Industries, Inc.

Under What?

2005-05-23T21:00:00.000-05:00

Thong v/ "Boy shorts" (Bolero shorts?)

Which is sexier?
Which would you rather wear, or see someone wear if you're a guy. (Although, maybe I shouldn't exclude guys from the option of wearing either. To each his/her own).
Pick one only.

I'd post pictures, but I can't get Hello to work anymore.

This Blog was created for pressing questions like this.
The fate of mankind hangs in the balance, choose wisely.

MY FIRST POST

2005-05-23T10:13:00.000-05:00

OK I saw Star Wars This weekend and have determined that it was the greatest movie of the year!!!!! All who disagree are insane deluded fools. Enjoy.

Desperate Housewives Predictions, Please

2005-05-23T09:41:00.000-05:00

Ummm, this is a spoiler post, so if you don't want to know what happened, you should stop reading. ;)

I'd like predictions for next season. How will last night's cliffhangers end? I'll put my predictions in the comment section. Tell me what you think.

Cracking open the door

2005-05-21T04:16:00.000-05:00

From my Bushisms calendar:

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."

-St. Charles, Missouri; November 2, 2000

Construction Zone

2005-05-17T21:30:00.000-05:00

This site is under construction. Check back later when it's up and running.

PEACE!