Holy crap cakes!

Paris Hilton calls off marriage!

I can honestly say, without hesitation, swearing before the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself, I am shocked to the core.

Who could have seen this but Miss Cleo, I ask?! Oh, the seventh seal has been broken and I hear the hoof-beats of 4 dark riders. Blood moon, boiling seas and all that.

I would be terrified and huddling in our basement (if we had such things here on the west coast), but I'm so excited to have scooped Reese that I welcome the Armegeddon.

I hope rehab's going well, by the way.